Negativity

So I was over at my formerly complicated man friend's house today and it struck me: How on earth did I end up spending so much time with someone who is so freaking negative all the time!?!?!?! What was I thinking! His ex-fiancee announced her engagement today and so he's down in the dumps because he feels like he's never going to find love again. 1. They've been apart for more than 10 years. 2. She's been with this guy for years so it is not a surprise. 3. He thinks this is the reason he's going to die alone? 4. What is so bad about his life? He's got a couple of different girl's he's starting to see, he's got a thriving business, an interesting theatre company and fantastic friends! Anyway, shortly after that, I'm helping him go through some stuff (he's been away for a couple of weeks: 3 or 4 weeks in Spain followed by 2 weeks in California) and I opened this book from Stanford. Apparently every five years, they put out this book of questionnaires that the Alumni fill out so people can find out where they are and what they are doing with their lives. I asked him what he wanted me to do with it and he told me to throw it away because the only thing it would do it give him an opportunity to see how much better all his classmates were doing than he was. Wow! I'm all about a little healthy competition, but jeez! What a downer.

I know my parents aren't pleased by the new boyfriend (the 20 year age difference doesn't much thrill them) but at least Bruce is upbeat and positive and he makes me take care of myself. He makes me feel like I can do anything and he wants to be supportive of me while I do it. Even when he doesn't understand it at all. This whole theatre company thing is a new experience for him. He thinks they work me too hard and he doesn't understand the part where I do it because I love it and not because I get paid large piles of money. It's so cute that he just keeps going, "And they don't pay you for this?" I miss him when he's in MA. Oh, well.

In other news, Crazy is supposedly moving out. I'm really looking forward to this event because then I feel like we can be friends again. My apartment is too small for three people and I love her, but I cannot live with her. Dallas is talking about moving in with Dov around December, so I should have my apartment to myself by the first of the year. Still trying to figure out how to pay for that, but I like the concept. My apartment is really too big for just me, but I suppose it will be nice to see what that is like. Bruce wants to move in here if we haven't found a place by then. I think if his divorce is not final, then he definitely will be. I'm understanding to a point, but I don't think it is a good idea for me to give up my apartment when he is still legally attached to someone else. Aren't mom and dad proud reading this right now.

My friend Pyam has a post on his blog about possibilities and he made a list of things that are important for him to do before he dies (a la Last Holiday). I think that is a good plan and I am going to work on my own. Stay tuned for that. I am also going to start trying to update my blog more often because I totally suck at that.

Off to bed for sleep now. I have call backs for our show tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to 8 hours of relative boredom. I'll be glad when rehearsals start so I at least have something interesting to watch. Good night!